Assertiveness is a choice
August 28, 2025
As I work at Navgati, I find new language around my career. And, language is often one way to explore new thoughts, and express new ideas – in this case, to myself.
While demo-ing an art-based activity, where I spoke of the challenges, growth and missteps of my life, someone pointed out that I was very courageous.
Me? I’ve never thought of myself as courageous or gutsy. I’m a wimp. I avoid conflict with a passion, I prefer to fix myself than address a situation (and I falsely call that growth), I let the daily boundaries and every day battles go by. I’m not courageous at all.
And this is both true and untrue.
I am often led in the big things of life by this question: What is light?
At one Swashikshan gathering (the annual homeschooler’s 5-day unconference), a speaker presented the idea to me of ‘don’t think of it as ‘What is right?’, think of it as ‘What is light?’
This has led me to make big choices with a happy shrug.
But while running Assertiveness modules as part of our women leadership development programs at Navgati, I realized that not everything feels light in the moment.
Choosing to stand your ground does not feel immediately empowering, saying no to people you like will feel like letting down your standards. When the payoff isn’t clearly visible, when the thing you’re fighting for is your own time or traditions, it’s easier to give in. Women often give in on the ‘small’ stuff.
How does it matter if I don’t do this festival my way? It’s always been done like this. Parampara. (Bachchan voice, please!)
How can I work on sets in films? I’m a woman, and work-life balance is a thing. Let me just be a script writer. Pratishtha.
I must carry all the load, else things will fall apart. No one else is going to think of all the tiny pieces that keep things running. Anushasan.
We’re trapped in a soap opera of our own making.
Assertiveness isn’t meant to be easy. It’s a choice.
Addressing my fears around impacting relationships, my anxiety around being misunderstood, isn’t pleasant. Having difficult conversations isn’t fun. Being articulate when emotional isn’t easy.
But if I take a lesson from my life (or SRK), then you’ve just got to lean into the courage. It may feel heavy at first, but once you let go of the expectations, like a balloon, it will be light.
About the author – Meghna Singhee is endlessly curious about both people and words. At Navgati, she channels this curiosity into designing learning experiences that are creative, engaging, and thought-provoking. Her work spans women’s leadership, unconscious bias, storytelling, communication, and more—always with the intent of making learning meaningful and fun.
To know more about our leadership development programs write to deepa@navgati.in