How Women Rise
By Vandana Balakrishna
October 14, 2025
Have you ever found yourself watching another woman’s career journey and saying to yourself: “I could have been that.”
It’s often curiosity and not always envy. Sometimes longing. Sometimes a whisper of regret. And sometimes it’s a simple acknowledgment that the choices we made along the way — some deliberate, some accidental, some imposed — have shaped our lives in ways that feel both beautiful and unfinished.
So what does it mean, really, when women make choices? And how do we know which choices belong to us, and which we’ve inherited from the expectations of others?
This question — the question of authenticity and choice — lies at the heart of our program for women leaders, How Women Rise.
Habits That Once Protected Us
Sally Helgesen and Marshall Goldsmith, in their book How Women Rise, speak of recurring patterns that hold women back. Things like waiting to be noticed rather than claiming credit, or over-valuing expertise to the point of not seeking help, or putting others first until your own needs shrink to invisibility.
I don’t like calling these “limiting habits.” That sounds judgmental. I prefer to see them as habits of protection — ways of staying safe in a world that hasn’t always welcomed women’s voices.
They once served us well. They kept us liked, respected, efficient. But what once protected can, over time, begin to restrict.
The invitation is to thank these habits for their service — and then to ask, gently: Do I still need them in the same way? Or is it time to rise differently?
Defining Success for Yourself
One of the most liberating questions you can ask is: What does success mean to me — truly, deeply, right now?
Not what it meant five years ago. Not what your organization says it should be. Not what your peers post on LinkedIn. But what it means for you.
For some, success is measured in reach and recognition. For others, it’s freedom to be with family, or space to create, or the ability to work on something that feels meaningful.
Neither version is “better.” Both are valid. The only question is: is it yours?
You can begin uncovering your definition through reflection:
- When have I felt most alive in my work?
- What do I regret when I ignore it?
- If no one else judged, what would I choose?
Or you can discover it experientially: run small experiments. Block creative time. Ask for that stretch project. Say no once, even if it scares you. Watch how it feels.
Over time, these choices add up to a personal map of success that is yours alone.
Authentic Choice Is an Ongoing Practice
We often think of authenticity as one big decision — quitting the job, starting the venture, leaving the role. In reality, authenticity is built in small, daily acts of alignment.
Each time you pause and ask, “Who is speaking here — my voice or someone else’s?”, you practice authenticity.
Each time you course-correct, you strengthen it.
Each time you step into discomfort because it feels right, you deepen it.
And authenticity isn’t about certainty. It is about alignment. Alignment doesn’t promise ease. Sometimes authentic choices stretch you, unsettle you, even scare you. But they also root you in something more durable than approval: they root you in yourself.
Rising, Step by Step
So what does rising look like in practice? It isn’t one dramatic leap. It is a series of steady, deliberate steps.
- Notice the tug when you see someone else’s life. Treat it as a message.
- Clarify the values that matter to you most deeply.
- Honor your protective patterns — and decide which ones you’re ready to soften.
- Define success on your own terms. Keep revisiting the definition as you grow.
- Experiment with small choices that align with your values.
- Allow yourself to recalibrate. The path is rarely linear.
Women stand tall not because the world suddenly clears space for them, but because they allow themselves to claim space, one choice at a time.
A Closing Invitation
If you pause right now and ask yourself, “What choice within my reach would renew me today?”, what is the answer that comes to you?
It might be something small — saying no to one request, saying yes to one opportunity, asking for help, or simply allowing yourself rest.
Take that step. However modest it feels.
Because rising is not about reaching someone else’s peak. It’s about inhabiting your own horizon.
And perhaps, one day, when you see another woman and feel the tug of recognition, you will say not “I could have been that,” but “I am becoming what I was always meant to be.”
About the author:
“Ask Vandana” is a popular internal Navgati service. Anytime the rest of us need to translate technology speak into English (which is a lot of the time), Vandana Balakrishna is the person to go to. Since 2016, Vandana has facilitated programs from self-awareness focused interventions to specific skill-based sessions like business communications and influencing. She is one of the lead facilitators of Navgati’s flagship Stand Tall program – an intervention for senior women leaders to claim their power. She anchors programs on Leadership presence and Impactful pitches for global audiences from marquee consulting and technology companies.